You must strive to attain balance

Ladies (and gentlemen who genuinely care about and want to better understand their women), today we’re going to conduct an interactive event. We will ask a few questions and provide a little information. You (and the men who love you and care about your well being) will jot down your answers. You don’t have to hand them in or share them with anyone. There won’t be a quiz or a grade, although life may test you as you begin this adventure. But the hope is that you (and your man) will have a better idea about you and your world in a healthy, not narcissistic way.

Did you believe you would find happily-ever-after following your marriage? What did you discover about that concept?

What do you do each day? Give a general run-down of your average day, all the things that have to be done daily. List each and every one of them, good, bad and indifferent. Beside each one jot down how long each of those tasks/duties/have-to-do things take. Don’t forget to include your sleep time, driving time and work for an employer time. This task will take a few minutes. We will be right here waiting when you are finished

OK. So, you made your list, checked it twice, guestimated your time for each task. What is the total demand for your time for each task? What is the total demand on your time in a 24-hour period? How much did it cut into your sleep time?

Now that you have looked at that, where do you stand in the “sandwich generation” or “daughter track”? Did you remember to add into your time demands the time you spend looking after elderly parents? All of the activities you have to work around so your family will function normally even with an extra wrench or two thrown in? What does all of this do to your concept of happily-ever-after?

What did you forget to include? Do you and your man enjoy date nights on a regular basis or do you tell yourself there’s just no time for that? Maybe Someday, but not Today.” Can it be that you should prioritize Today so you will have a Someday together to look forward to?

Ah, so happily-ever-after isn’t something that happens. It’s something you work on from day to day all through your years together. It’s not difficult work. It isn’t hard labor. It’s a labor of love, finding time for each other, growing together, sharing, and being a helpmate to each other.

A committed relationship is – or should be – a partnership with both persons contributing in every way they can, to assist each other, encourage each other and support each other. How can you care about or love someone you don’t know?

So when you say to your mate, “I have to take care of my mother because she can’t live alone anymore,” the correct response from him probably shouldn’t be, “Put her in a nursing home.” And men, when you say, “I can’t handle the finances alone,” you may want to give this some thought. To you it may seem that the little woman has time to spare. You might ask her if she minds sharing her list of daily tasks from the top of this article. And when she has suffered empty-nest syndrome and her parents are deceased, instead of saying, “You don’t have any reason not to get a job now,” you might want to take a look at that list, the nights she went without sleep because a child was sick or an elderly parent was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night. You might recall the times she gave you change from her wallet every cent she had because you needed it more than she did. You might consider the taps on her energy, her age today, and ask yourself why she chose you, why she chose to stay with you and how you can contribute to her well being and happiness now.

We hear that former princes are highly unemployable. It is widely known that married women have to work to help pay the bills. So when someone suggests women need to work to support themselves and their family and LIVE FULL LIVES, women may have an issue.

How do you see yourself?

How much control do you have over what happens to you?

What obstacles do you deal with daily? Weekly? At work? At home?

What do you want out of your relationship?

What are your needs?

Will your relationship meet your needs?

How can you both better utilize your time so you can have more time together as a couple?

Family Recovery Center promotes the well being of individuals, families and communities with education, prevention and treatment programs for substance abuse and related mental health issues.

For more information about these programs contact FRC at 964 N. Market St., Lisbon; phone, 330-424-1468; or e-mail, FRC is funded, in part, by United Way of Northern Columbiana County.