The world came to a halt as Tiger Woods apologized, promptly didn't say when he would return to golf, hugged mommy and ran back to sex rehab. Last week I wrote Tiger should grow a pair and come back and play in next week's Phoenix Open. One of my readers made the comment that his "pair" is what got him in trouble in the first place.
I don't buy for a single minute that Tiger has a problem that requires therapy. It's all damage control and trying to keep face at this point. Tiger doesn't need rehab for "sex addiction." He's a 30-year-old man with more money than most people can count who has been coddled and treated like royalty for his entire adult life.
He's not a sex addict. He's a spoiled idiot who couldn't keep it in his pants.
I don't feel bad for Tiger. I don't feel bad that paparazzi chases his family around now. He put his family in that position. It comes with the territory. You can't be the most famous athlete (and arguably the most private) in the world, and not expect people to want to find out about your personal life. He makes the bucks. He's a billionaire. Well guess what? With those luxuries come some sacrifices, one being constantly in the public eye. Tiger needs to get over himself. His only real problem is stupidity.
Tiger, pay your soon-to-be ex-wife a boatload of cash, and get back on the golf course. You cheated on your wife. Multiple times, in fact. No matter what you do, that's how the public is going to see you now and forever. You're going to get heckled no matter what your caddie says. Tough. You've had everything handed to you on a silver platter. You are blessed with unbelievable talent that almost anyone would kill to have. Get back on the course and use it. Or don't. But the ongoing Tiger Show is "selfish," just like your competitor Ernie Els said it was. It's overkill, and unfortunately until you come back it's not going to go away anytime soon.
In typical Cleveland fashion, the Cavs wheeled and dealed to get Antawn Jamison, and in typical Cleveland fashion he had a stellar debut - 0 for 12 from the field, blocked five times, two airballs. The Cavs have lost three straight since acquiring him. I really hope this doesn't continue. Please, just once, can Cleveland catch a break?
Here's something refreshing. It's Monday, and guess who has his picture is in the paper? -again. Yes, Jimmie Johnson won the second Sprint Cup race of the season in California. If it wasn't so unethical, I would just copy and paste the same photo of him smiling with a trophy in each week's paper. Grow a beard or something, Jimmie. I'm tired of looking at you. Oh wait, you did. Then again, I probably shouldn't talk. My mug appears just about every Monday, too.
John Daly can finally say he played four rounds of golf without shooting in the 70s. Unfortunately, 68, 69, 69, 81 left him at the bottom of the pack at the opposite-field event in Mexico. It's a start. In the words of fictional Indians announcer Harry Doyle, "Let's give him credit, at least he didn't spike himself."
To be fair, he was missing equipment and a kid stole his ball off one of the fairways. You never hear of that kind of thing happening to Tiger.
"In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher.'"
... 'til next time.
E-mail B.J. Lisko at email@example.com