Counselors meet with St. Paul students

Kindergarten classmate died of flu complications Saturday

SALEM --St. Paul School students learned about death, asked about heaven and wanted to know whether they'll see their friend CJ again as they gathered together for the first time since 6-year-old kindergartner Christopher CJ Avila died from flu-related complications.

"I think that kids are resilient. We said that a lot today, but I think everybody will be ok," Sarah Tolson said.

Tolson was one of several counselors on hand when students and staff returned to the parochial school Tuesday, but she carried a unique perspective the others didn't -- CJ was her daughter's classmate.

"We're a small school, close-knit. Everybody was really supportive," she said, calling the day a "bonding experience (that) brought everybody together."

Principal Dave Pancurak said they followed the plan they had set up. The counselors first met with faculty and staff during a two-hour delay, then when the students started arriving, teachers and staff members greeted them in the gym and welcomed them back. They were ushered into their classrooms where counselors were on hand and they discussed CJ's death and answered questions. Parents attended and Rev. Robert Edwards, pastor for the school and St. Paul Church, also was there going from classroom to classroom.

"The plan for today went well," Pancurak said, adding, "we are adjusting…our concern still remains on that family and our school family."

He said a fund has been set up to help defray costs for CJ's funeral. Any donations may be dropped off or sent in CJ's name to St. Paul School, 935 E. State St., Salem, Ohio 44460. Private services are being held, with arrangements handled by Stark Memorial Funeral Home.

Pancurak said the meetings with counselors helped and he echoed the idea about kids being resilient, saying they understood.

The counselors are a phone call away if they're needed, but he also said it's good to get back to the routine while continuing to work through the grief. Tolson, who's a licensed professional clinical counselor for Psycare in Struthers, was joined by two counselors from the Counseling Center in Lisbon, two guidance counselors from Salem City Schools and a counselor from United Local Schools.

Tolson focused on the kindergarten class. As adults, she told parents to seek their own support so they can better understand how they grieve.

"Model that healthy reaction or healthy grieving process for your children," she said.

She and other counselors contributed to advice placed on the St. Paul School Facebook page for dealing with grief, such as being honest, not hiding emotions, allowing for questions and personal sharing. She said to stick to the daily routine as much as possible. A lot of time was spent on what it means to die and identifying different emotions people may experience. Students were told it's normal to feel sad or even mad.

One of the questions a student asked was "If I get sick, will this happen to me?" Tolson said they talked about the fact that people do get the flu and some bodies can recover and some can't. For CJ, she said as Catholics the belief is that "God had another purpose for him." Students also prayed.

She said she stressed to parents that it's good to keep the lines of communication open with their kids. If they notice major changes in their child, they should contact the school or a counselor about getting grief counseling.

In a Facebook post on Tuesday addressing health concerns, Pancurak advised parents that health professionals recommend the flu shot as one way to fight against the flu virus, along with washing hands frequently with soap and water to help prevent viruses. Whether or not Tamiflu should be taken as a preventative measure before or after the onset of flu-like symptoms, he recommended leaving that to their own physician. If a parent or their child feels sick, they should stay home and make an appointment to see their physician.

He stressed again that St. Paul School has not been told to close for any health reasons by any health professionals or officials.

CJ was out sick from school Friday and was initially treated at Salem Regional Medical Center, then ended up at Akron Children's Hospital in Akron where he died Saturday. Gary Guenther, chief investigator for the Summit County Medical Examiner's Office, said Tuesday that the boy's cause of death was still pending, awaiting results of cultures and toxicology. He did say an autopsy was completed and when asked, said there was no sign of meningitis. He didn't expect to have a ruling on cause of death for at least a month or longer.

"We're waiting on more testing to come back," he said.

mgreier@salemnews.net

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